Turner Classic Birdman
Turner Classic Birdman is a season three episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law although it is presented in a way as a prequel to the series. The episode is presented by Robert Osbourne, host of Turner Classic Movies network. Although made in 2005, the short purports to be from 1967, and features many of the modern show's characters in their original incarnations, albeit with modern ironic overtones. Intro Robert Osborne, from Turner Classic Movies, appears to introduce a "rarely seen, award-winning" short from 1967 entitled "Busy Day for Birdman". He goes on to say that the short features Birdman in combat with villains that later appear in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. "Busy Day for Birdman" Plot The Pentagon has been evacuated under threat from Reducto who has plotted to shrink it. Reducto himself appears in (a very thin) disguise as an ice cream salesman and shrinks the Pentagon. Taunting the generals, he proceeds to quickly shrink and unshrink the Pentagon. When asked what he wants, Reducto demands a tiny bit of power and a request for Birdman to face him. At the Birdlair, Falcon 7 contacts Birdman and tells him of Reducto's plot. He also asks that Birdman meet him first, over what appears to be lockjaw as he finds himself unable to move his right arm. However, Birdman ignores this and flies away to confront Reducto. Arriving at Reducto's lab, he finds a door and immediately blasts the door down (after a moment or so of powerblasts). Inside, Reducto informs him that the door was an automatic one and that all he had to do was step in front of it and it would slide open. Birdman asks Reducto to look behind him, triggering Reducto's paranoia. Before Birdman has time to blast Reducto, Reducto fires his shrink ray and the blast merely hits his shrinkpack, bewildering him. At a very small size, Birdman confronts ants who appear to only be able to move their antennae but, taking no chances, Birdman blasts them away and attempts to fly away. Distracted by Falcon 7's new order that Vulturo has stolen a hydrogen bomb, Birdman is caught in a spiderweb with a gimp spider approaching him (oddly, with six legs). Falcon 7 reasons that a hydrogen bomb is more important than the spider and orders Birdman to take care of the problem. Birdman manages to escape the web. Birdman meets Vulturo (still in miniature size) and demands he tells him where the hydrogen bomb is. After Vulturo attempts to blast Birdman, Birdman deflects the blast which hits Vulturo's pack. Vulturo surrenders and discloses the location of the bomb but, due to his speech impediment (that he seems entirely unaware of), Birdman is unable to understand him. After dealing with Vulturo and the hydrogen bomb, Birdman returns to Reducto's to enlarge himself. Reducto is in the middle of repairing his damaged shrink-ray and decides to merely gaze upon it. Birdman attacks and knocks the shrink ray out his hand, but before Reducto has time to stop Birdman, Avenger flies into his face, distracting him. Birdman sets the shrink-ray to return him to his normal size. Reducto, then picks the shrink-ray up, in an attempt to reshrink Birdman but he knocks the shrink-ray out of his hand and causes Reducto to be shrunk to microscopic size. Attempting to locate the now miniscule Reducto, Birdman only finds a piece of licorice and returns back to the Birdlair to relax. As Avenger is scratching Birdman in an itchy place on his shoulder while taking a bath, Falcon 7 appears again to inform him that Mentok has invented a "Contra-Ray" and has taken the minds of world leaders captive. Although he argues to Falcon 7, he has no choice but to track down Mentok. Inside a volcano (labeled "M") Birdman enocunters "Mentok the Mind-Taker" who encases him in a Contra-Ray glass cage and proceeds to hypnotize him to do his bidding. After a bit of banter between the two of them, Mentok sends Birdman to the Capital to present his list of demands which include "a lifetime supply of Tab, Mentok's face on the dollar, a date with Minnie Van Doren..." The men at the Capital, although realizing that Birdman is under some kind of spell, they say that they can deliver on all of his demands except the lifetime supply of Tab but they can give him Diet Rite. Flying back to Mentok's, Avenger manages to get Birdman to follow him closer to the sun which breaks him of Mentok's control. Mentok contacts Birdman asking if he got his diet drinks but quickly realizes that Birdman has gotten his mind back. He orders a scientist to fire a missile. Birdman grabs a hold of it but must take ten hours to fully charge. After this, Birdman hurls the missile at Mentok’s volcano destroying it. In what appears to be a kindergarten classroom, Falcon 7 contacts Birdman to inform him that a madman has stolen a military test rocket. Birdman tells Falcon that he is decoupaging and that if he leaves it may bubble. Falcon 7 says, “We need you, Birdman.” Birdman sighs. X the Eliminator is watching Birdman approach on a monitor in his hideout. He presses a button to open the door for him but Birdman blasts his way through the ceiling anyway. Birdman demands answers on why he destroyed the cargo rocket. X simply answers, “To get you here?” X proceeds to attempt to activate his vice ray. It turns out that the lever has stuck because it has rusted while X was waiting for Birdman (“Mr. Tardy”) to show up and asks if he happens to have any WD-40. He finally gets it to work and grabs Birdman’s crest. He drops Birdman down into a trap door and escapes. Birdman, holding two walls together, asks Avenger to “shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level” (curiously calling him “Threepio”). Avenger manages to rescue Birdman by pulling him out with a rope. As Birdman is thanking his old friend, Avenger happens to drop the rope. Chasing X, Birdman blasts his jet, causing it to explode and X to bail out. X comments that he thinks he’s wet himself but says he can air dry. However, Birdman blasts the strings on the parachute X is using and X falls into the ocean where the Coast Guard can pick him up. X appears to be drowning. At last, Birdman attempts to enjoy a nice dinner alone with his date but Falcon 7 interrupts yet again with news of a madman causing an earthquake. After Birdman stops this catastrophe, Falcon 7 alerts him of another problem – a pirate is looting some booty. Birdman blasts away the pirates only to have Falcon 7 tell him of a Neanderthal leaving doody. Birdman beats up the Neanderthal. Falcon 7 says that a drag queen is singing some Judy. Stopping this, Birdman returns to see Falcon 7 trying to tell Birdman that a mad scientist is freezing him. After rescuing Falcon 7 personally, Birdman says that he quits. Falcon 7 asks him what is he going to do. Birdman says he wants to have a regular job like normal people have, a desk job with normal clothes and regular work. Flash forward to the present, where Birdman has become Harvey Birdman and Falcon 7 has become Phil Ken Sebben. Phil buzzes him on the intercom and tells him that a Mr. Peebles is suing Mr. Dibble. Harvey sighs. Outro Robert Osborne has apparently forgotten the short and comments on Double Indemnity (a film which is referenced in the series by the Deadly Duplicator). Category:Episodes